Accentuate the positive

Accentuate the positive
 
When was the last time you thought about what was going well? Do you spend time in meetings analysing your successes? Do you congratulate your colleagues on a daily basis? Thought not!

OK - how about this: How much time do you spend in meetings talking about what's not working well? How many times do you tell team members about mistakes they made? How often do you spend during your commute thinking about the problems you are trying to resolve?

We tend to take our successes for granted. We feel self-conscious telling other people about the things we've done which make us proud. We breathe a sigh of relief when we achieve a target and then move on, rarely taking a moment to pat ourselves (and the others involved in our success) on the back.

I've heard plenty of excuses for not recognising our own successes. I'm sure you can think of others. We're very good at thinking of reasons not to do this. But here are the most common excuses, and my counter argument. 

• I don't have time: Saying "I think you did a really good job on that project yesterday" takes 3 seconds. I timed it. 
• Being successful at a task is enough. I shouldn't need to be thanked. And nor should anyone else: Recognition and praise are two innate motivators. The vast majority of people will appreciate being recognised for their achievements even if they are embarrassed. 
• If I praise people too much they won't take me seriously: In order for people to be able to take on board negative criticism they need to have heard at least 5 positive pieces of feedback from you. So in fact, in order for people to take you seriously when you have something tough to say, you'd better have laid the groundwork of positive praise first. 
• I don't have anything to be proud of: I bet you do! Because we are not used to recognising our achievements we tend not to notice them. I challenge you now to list 10 things you did today that were achievements, large or small. Even if a task comes easily to you, it is still an achievement. 
• I don't know how: We feel very uncomfortable giving praise (or receiving it for that matter) because we lack the language. We're just not used to it. Remember to be specific. Tell the person what they did that is worthy of praise. And if it is you who is receiving the praise be gracious. Say Thank You (as opposed to saying it was nothing) 
• We all did a good job: They say there is no 'i' in team. And they are right. It is important you work together with colleagues. But everyone makes their own contribution to the team effort. Recognising everyone's part, specifically, will be much more meaningful than saying "well done everyone". The latter may cause individuals to think - did I have anything to do with our success? Did anyone notice what I did personally?

Of course, you need to analyse the failures and figure out what went wrong. And sometimes you will need to tell people when their work is substandard. But balancing that with recognition and praise will get better results than focusing on the negative predominantly.