Mind your Ps and Qs

Mind Your Ps and Qs

Like me, you probably attend many meetings during an average week. Some will be meetings with people you know, others will be meetings with acquaintances or even strangers. You may be chairing the meeting, you may be the "host" or you may be a delegate.

And you'll probably find in some of these meetings you feel completely comfortable, able to participate and welcome whilst at others you feel ignored, uncertain and even disregarded.

From observing many meetings and feeding back my observations I have noticed that meetings have an etiquette to them and just as a great party normally owes a lot to a great host, a great meeting owes a lot to adherence to this etiquette. All too often people do not do the basics which can make you and others at the meeting feel ill at ease and unable to contribute fully.

Even if you are "just another delegate" at the meeting, take charge and follow these tips to ensure the meeting runs smoothly
Arrive early or on time: There is no such thing as being "fashionably late" to a meeting. Being early will enable you to get a good seat, meet a few people before the meeting proper starts and settle any nerves. Arriving late looks like you don't take the meeting or the people at the meeting seriously. It also makes you look like you can't handle your own schedule.
Introduce yourself: This sounds so obvious. But many times someone has asked me who I am before they tell me who they are. If you have a difficult name to pronounce say it twice or tell people how they can remember it. I say "Blaire - like the Prime Minister" which often leads to an interesting discussion! Speak slowly and clearly and look the person in the eye. If you think they haven't heard your name try to use it in conversation later by telling a story or speaking about yourself in the third person.
Forgetting people's names: If you think someone may have forgotten your name, help them out. "I'm Blaire - we met at that conference last month" for instance. If you can't remember theirs, be honest. "Didn't we meet last year at the company away-day? I'm desperately trying to remember your name!" is just fine.
Ask questions and listen to the answers: This is basic good manners. Interrupting others before they are finished, tuning out during subjects that don't concern you or blatantly changing the subject is just rude. You will be remembered for it.
Involve other people: Whether you are at a networking meeting or at a business meeting you can take it upon yourself to involve quieter or newer individuals. Asking "What do you think, Sue?" or saying "I'd love to hear your thoughts, John" will give other people a chance. They may not take it but at least you offered.
Avoid forming a clique: I've heard it said that cliques are only a problem if you aren't in one. But good manners means having the awareness to open up conversations so that anyone can join in. Explain the background so that a new-comer can enjoy a story and drop the in-jokes.
Be gracious when receiving compliments: If someone says something nice to you say "Thank you". There is no need to say "Oh, that was nothing" or "Well, it was more by luck than judgement". Rejecting the praise will feel like a brush off to the person who said it.
Be gracious when "moving on": Especially at a networking event, you will want to talk to a few people and at a certain point you will want to move on. Instead of making an excuse simply say how much you've enjoyed talking to an individual and that you ought to meet a few more people but you'd like to speak with them again soon. Arrange another meeting if that is appropriate.
Say goodbye: If I've been having a really enjoyable conversation with someone and they leave without saying goodbye, I go back and reassess whether the connection really was that good. If you want to be remembered for the right reasons, going around the room before you leave and saying goodbye to a few significant people will really help. It doesn't have to be a long goodbye! "It was lovely to see you again, I'll email you that article" is sufficient.
Follow up: If you say you are going to do something, do it and do it promptly.