Be positive

Be positive!

How many times have we heard that? “Just think positive”, we’re told, and everything will be fine.

Or even worse – “Why can’t you just be more positive?”

So, we wake up in the morning and say to ourselves: “OK, today I’m going to think positive”. But when the bus turns up late, you get caught in the rain, you arrive at the office to see your over-flowing in-tray or the computer crashes before you’ve saved that vital document, all thoughts of “being positive” go straight out the window.

Don’t “be positive”
The problem is that “be positive” is a cliché. Like most clichés it has its feet in a useful idea…but over time it has become over-used and lost its meaning.

Imagine going to the gym and, as you stand in front of all the exercise machines, you say to yourself “Right, I’m going to do some exercise”. You wait and of course nothing happens. So you say it again – “I’m going to do some exercise”. Again, you wait. Still nothing.

That’s because it’s not enough to just decide to do exercise. You have to select your type of exercise. Will it be the bike? Or the running machine? Or the dance class? And then you have to do it for a while until you start getting results.

The same is true for finding a positive state of mind. It isn’t enough to say “I’m going to be more positive”. You have to decide in WHAT WAY you are going to be positive.

Step 1: What is my current way of thinking?
We all have habitual thought patterns. Some people think “Everyone lets you down all the time”. Other people think “Most people can be relied upon”.

Once we’ve chosen our thought pattern we unconsciously find evidence to support it. So, the person who believes everyone always lets them down will collect data over their life to prove this is the case. On occasions when people don’t let them down they will put it down to fluke or not even notice.

The person who believes most people can be relied upon will see plenty of evidence of that in their life. When someone does let them down they will see it as a one-off.

Exercise:- What are the negative phrases you repeat to yourself? What beliefs do you hold about the world and other people? Do you find yourself saying the same things such as “That always happens to me” or “Life’s just not like that?”
If you aren’t sure, ask other people. They are likely to have noticed!

Step 2: What else could I think?
Who do you know who has a different way of thinking? What alternatives are there to yours? Some people think “Every cloud has a silver lining”. Others say “One door closes and another door opens”. Picking your particular type of positive thinking is a bit like picking your particular exercise at the gym. And just as some people like to do a few different types of exercise to get fit, you might like to have a few new phrases or new ways of thinking.

Exercise:- Pick a new phrase, which is just as likely to be true as your current belief.

Step 3: Gather evidence
For most of your life you’ve been gathering evidence to prove your current way of thinking is the “right” one. Now you have to gather evidence to support this new way of thinking. “Act as if” you are someone who really believes this new way of thinking (e.g. if evidence crops up to support your old way of thinking, think of it as a one-off).

Just as with exercise, you may not see the benefits straight away. It takes your body time to catch up with the effects of exercise. And it will take your mind time to catch up with the new beliefs you are working with. But consistently repeating the new belief to yourself, backed up with evidence, will help you to transform the way you think and you’ll become more positive.

Motivation tip for leaders
Your team members may have limiting beliefs about what is possible for them. Telling them to “be more positive” will have limited value. Using the steps above, coach them to develop specific ways to be more positive.